Keep Living Life

I saw a comic strip before starting law school. It showed a man reading a note on the fridge, presumably left there by his wife. The note read, “Cold cuts and leftovers in the fridge. I’ve gone to law school. See you in 3 years.”

A popular saying is that law school is a jealous mistress. And this is true. Law school demands very much of our time and it is hard. And there’s worse news: It doesn’t get any easier. For the rest of your life, you will be busy. Law school is a sneak peek to the strenuous nature of life for any lawyer. If you’ve not had the opportunity to clerk at a firm to see this first-hand, read any of the Jagged Rocks of Wisdom books or The Young Lawyer’s Jungle Book—they will give you a real heads-up look at life after law school. So don’t get too worked up about how scary law school is or how busy in law school you’ll be. This is life.

A popular saying is that law school is a jealous mistress. And this is true. Law school demands very much of our time and it is hard. And there’s worse news: It doesn’t get any easier. For the rest of your life, you will be busy. Law school is a sneak peek to the strenuous nature of life for any lawyer. If you’ve not had the opportunity to clerk at a firm to see this first-hand, read any of the Jagged Rocks of Wisdom books or The Young Lawyer’s Jungle Book—they will give you a real heads-up look at life after law school. So don’t get too worked up about how scary law school is or how busy in law school you’ll be. This is life.

There’s yet another saying, that to be a successful lawyer you have to go through a couple of wives and maybe even a couple of kids. I was not interested in losing those relationships, so in addition to the time I devoted to school I had to devote time to my family. I won’t lie. This was difficult. And it was and still is common for people to wonder how I do it. When so much of your time is taken up for law school, how is it possible to maintain any relationship, much less three? This leads us to our next and crucially important principle and habit.

Habit #11: Don’t Worry (Too Much). Be Happy.

Law school is an important three years. Looked at differently, however, it is only three years of an entire lifetime. Don’t burn relationships or sacrifice the people who make you genuinely happy for the chance of being successful (and, presumably, happy) later. Don’t willingly give up true happiness now.

The good news is that you don’t have to. You can keep living your life, and you should. It makes for a better-rounded person, it rounds out your résumé, it helps in interviews, and it will help in your three years of law school. One example: in interviewing for a prestigious internship, much of what the interviewers and I talked about was—you guessed it—my family. Those interviewing me were interested in more than grades: they apparently thought it was important to be balanced too. This point is made in a book, The Insider’s Guide to Getting a Big Firm Job (which I didn’t see until after my interview), spelling out just how different interviewers’ perceptions are from law students’ generally mistaken beliefs.

This is a good time to practice living a balanced life, because, as mentioned, it doesn’t get easier. You must learn how to deal with an overloaded plate and still be successful and happy. Efficiency is a large part of the answer. Yes, I’ve mentioned it many times throughout the book, and I don’t want to beat a dead horse, but…being efficient in your studies will allow you to enjoy your life and do a better job as a law student. Do the things that make you happy, maintain relationships, and just keep living life. Don’t become so consumed with law school that you forget who you are.

Manage Your Stress

Stress can be horrible and debilitating, depending on how you let it affect you. I knew a student who eventually did well in law school, but only after a very difficult start. In his first year he began to suffer from severe anxiety attacks. He confided in me, and told me that he would listen to concept after concept in class, and when it didn’t make sense (which for any student is often), he would lose focus and then panic. It sounds too extreme a reaction, I know, but it is real. He became so nervous that any mental stimulus was simply too much for his mind—and a law school classroom has mental stimuli overload. He ended up seeing a counselor and a physician, and began taking medication for his anxiety. Now for the scary part: this is a guy who had never had this problem in his life! He gets to law school and starts to breaks down.

Yes, law school is stressful, and yes, many law students seek help—and should seek help. (Law students are among the top “customers” for campus mental-health centers.) Even so, there are serious reasons to manage stress, not least the need to continue studying amidst all the personal and law school turmoil, and the possibility of counseling affecting one’s bar application—which of course will only add to your stress! As much as you can, learn to manage your stress, rather than being pushed around by it.

Here’s another story—maybe a myth—that illustrates the stresses and strains of law school. A student once asked the dean why there were an extra few days off during the fall semester. The dean answered that when they added those breaks, the suicide and depression rates decreased. Even if it is a law school myth, it’s a myth with a message: don’t let law school get to you.

Not everyone will experience stress at this level, of course, but the stress certainly does exist and you do need to learn how to deal with it. Stress may come from the overload of course work, the inability to understand all of the legal principles, a lack of sleep, or those looming finals. These are all sources of stress, and you shouldn’t feel bad about it—but you do need to take care of yourself, because stress will inhibit your ability to perform to the best of your capabilities.

First, try to pinpoint the object of your stress. Then, fix it…or adjust to it. If nothing comes to mind, then sit down identify all the areas in your life that add to your workload. Anything and everything, from cases to laundry. The act of sitting down and writing out these sources is therapeutic in itself: You are doing something about it! You realize there is a problem and you are identifying the source. Many times, the act of locating the source of stress is enough to avoid or at least moderate future problems. Of course, once identified it is a good idea to try and resolve or at least reduce the problem. For example, if you are having trouble understanding legal concepts, then visit your professor regularly, with specific questions, to clarify the points. Once you have those specific questions, read the suggested supplemental material on those points to clarify further.

If you find, as a second example, that you don’t have enough time during the day to accomplish what you need to do, then it’s time to re-evaluate your schedule. You must prioritize, and make time for what is important. Simply identifying these issues and the specifics of your situation will, in many cases, be part of the solution. Many times we try to mask our stress without trying to resolve the problem—and typically these sources of stress are avoidable. Also, this is exactly what an attorney does: identify problems, locate their source, and offer solutions.

Even if the above suggestions solve the problem, you should still read about stress and stress-relief techniques. Some are likely to work well for you, both for law school and afterwards. Stress comes from many directions, often without warning, and without a single standard of the “right” level of stress tolerance. It is a good idea to reduce your stress, to increase your stress tolerance, and to have a plan for when stress does hit.

Here’s how I handle it: When I am at school or in the middle of a project, I deal with stress by taking a power nap. If I’m in class, I focus on stretching the muscles in my feet, wiggling them around, and then looking forward to a power nap after the lecture. If at home, I take a bath or go for a short run. These techniques may seem silly, but they work and I don’t have nearly as much stress as I would if I didn’t have any sort of relief. More importantly, I don’t feel stressed. Consequently, I go into the classroom or an exam with energy, not panic.

Do your research about relieving stress. A few quick searches on “stress relief tips” will pull up loads of advice on the web. Once you find something that works, go for it and use it when stress inevitably strikes.